There are times that I don't mind writing or talking about myself, but being a basically very private person after I've had my say I tend to clam up and even regret what I've said...I'm sure some will say that this is a psychological problem, and one of those strange traits that often go with being an artist. And this is partly true, but it also has some kind of complex cause/effect relationship having to do with my view of reality.
Back in my "Yahoo blogs" (which are now available for viewing at tomhawkrevisited.blospot.com), I took on the subject of "words" as poor tools for describing reality. I used the example from geometry of trying to describe a sphere using only straight lines.
I also said that unlike many writers who have a passion for words, my involvement more closely resembled a WAR with words where my skill was learned from battling with them trying to make them accurately resemble reality...And this is more art than skill, since one must put into play more of the subtle connotations of language to give you a feeling rather than just using a word in a stricter sense. It is a double-edged sword, however, since when you tread in that territory your meanings will become lost to many...a fertile ground for misunderstanding.
So in my short bio, as in other writings, not only is there much that is left out, but I always come away with the feeling that I have not told the whole truth. It's a bad feeling, almost as if I've lied. This tends to make me feel uncommunicative for a time.
While it's true that I do enjoy getting out & meeting the public now & then, I really am not comfortable as a "public figure". I enjoy producing my art in solitude, and in fact it's necessary to the creative process. But even were I not an artist, I am a contemplative type of person and could easily see myself as a monk or other ascetic sort of hermit.
And this is why my music isn't for everyone. I've always tended to write in popular styles. I've always worked to make my music and lyrics accessible to everyone, avoiding the avant-garde.The concepts behind my work tend to be about things that are universally relatable. So why aren't I more popular (I mean besides lack of exposure)?
I believe the answer lies in my personality. I have studied what makes other artists popular and have detected a real difference. It seems that the average audience craves excitement (I avoid excitement and crave peace). They want to see someone who breaks down barriers, where I am patiently building bridges. They want to dig into the guts of things, while I am trying to ascend to the mountaintop. So it seems I differ from the vast majority who find success and those who bestow it.
I am not complaining, just stating the situation as it appears to me. To twist an old axiom: "I'd rather be ignored for who I am, than mistakenly loved for who I am not." ....Peace and Best Wishes....TomHawk
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